Comfort In Darkness
by onetreefan
Summary: He couldn't look in the rear view mirror... Post "Lauren" M/G


He couldn't look in the rear view mirror.

They were driving away from the cemetery, leaving Emily behind. She was his friend, his partner, the agent that he trusted most out in the field. Since Hotch returned to his position as leader of their team, he and Emily Prentiss were more often than not assigned as partners in the field. They had chased down suspects, avoided bombs and knives, seen the darkest of acts and been shot at together. Emily Prentiss was an agent that he trusted with his life in the field.

Now he had witnessed her being buried beneath the ground.

He could still see her on the cold cement, a stake impaled into her stomach, her eyes glassy and lost. He could feel her cold hands in contrast to the warm blood leaving her wound. He could still hear her saying "Let me go," as if she already knew she was gone. That she was dead.

The hiccup next to him shifted his mind back to the road. Next to him was his beloved best friend, lost in her own sea of grief. Penelope held her body close and couldn't stop shaking. Her neck adorned with pearls and her eyes covered with minimal makeup, he would have thought she was beautiful if the circumstances were different. Derek knew she was dealing with her own demons. She had confided in him her own reservations of their beloved Emily prior to knowledge of Ian Doyle. She had commented that Emily had been withdrawn, sharp and more private than usual. He had told her she could be in a new romance or handling business with her mother.

Neither had predicted this nightmare.

His only strength through the loss of Emily was through his Penelope. She was the beacon that led him home every case. Now their world was darker than ever and he knew that without his Baby Girl, he'd never see the light.

He pulled up to her apartment and his heart began to race. The idea of her out of his sight scared him more than he would like to admit. They knew that everyone on their team had their share of enemies. He feared that if he were to turn from his Penelope she would disappear, be taken, or be killed.

She wiped her eyes with her handkerchief and looked up at Derek with sad eyes. Her heart was torn apart, shattered, betrayed. Penelope Garcia was a woman broken and she feared she couldn't be repaired. Her only source of strength since the loss of her Emily was the man in the driver's seat beside her. She knew of his pain. He lost a sister, a confidant, his security on the field. She timidly reached across the seat and took his right hand in hers. She pressed her lips against his hand and tears fell from her eyes. She knew that she hadn't closed the damn of her tears since the loss of her Emily. It would be a while before she could feel anything other than sadness.

"We are here," she whispered, her honey brown eyes looking up into her sanctuary of dark chocolate brown eyes.

"Baby Girl..."

"Yes?" she asked, squeezing their joined hands tighter.

"May I come upstairs? I can't..." His voices was beginning to be choppy as his emotions came further to the surface.

"Can't what, Derek?" she asked softly.

"I don't want to be alone tonight, Penelope."

A moment of silence followed as each looked into the others eyes. Each found the oceans of pain and sorrow within their depths. However beneath that dominating force was loyalty and devotion that had always been between them. It was a love unspoken, a passion yet to be explored and a need that needed to be quenched.

She kissed their joined hands and silently turned off the ignition. Penelope lifted her hand to his face and touched him softly. Derek leaned into her touch and took comfort from her movements. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his softly. Almost like an angel, she breathed against him and hoped to heal his heart of anymore pain for the evening.

Derek accepted her kiss and cupped her face in his hands. Slowly, he took comfort from her healing lips and love filled caresses.

She pulled away from him gently and took his right hand in hers. "Come upstairs with me, Derek," she whispered.

Leaving the car, he rushed to her side and held her hand tightly in his as they made their way to her front door. He rubbed his thumb in circular motions upon the top of her hand to comfort her, to take away her pain.

She opened her door and let him in first. Locking the door behind her, she led him to her bed through the canopy of beads hanging from the entryway. Penelope sat him down on the bed in front of her and she pressed her finger against his soft lips to indicate her desire for his silence. He kissed her finger and she smiled sadly down at him.

Penelope began disrobing her handsome prince slowly. Starting with his coat and threw it on the bean bag chair beside her vanity. Her shaky fingers moved to his tie and pressed her forehead against his for strength. Removing the tie from his neck, her hands found their way to the buttons on his black shirt. She was relieved to find no tank top beneath his dress shirt. Penelope remembered him mentioning how hot he got when she wore his dress shirts.

She could tell he was trying to catch her eyes. Instead, she kneeled before him and kissed each inch of his available skin that caught her eyes. She felt the beating of his heart beneath her lips as she moved down his strong torso.

Derek felt his heart be overwhelmed with love and care as his baby girl touched him. He truly believed that her heart and presence were blessed by the Gods or whatever higher power granted them this moment to turn their lives away from their sad existence for just a moment. As she undressed him, he moved his hand to her hair and removed her small hat. He couldn't stop touching her hair or face as she cared for him like no other woman had in his past.

When she reached his pants, she untucked his shirt and removed it from their confines. She tossed it toward the suit jacket and allowed a tear to fall as she made her way to his belt buckle. The clinking of the metal shook in the awareness of the significance of this moment for them. She knew that the minute that his pants were removed, they could never turn back. _Be his comfort, Penelope._ She unbuckled his pants and removed his belt slowly, giving him an opportunity to stop her and run. When he didn't, she placed the belt beside his other belongings and removed his pants relatively quickly. There, upon her bed in a pair of black boxers was the man of her dreams, torn and broken from loss.

Bracing her hands upon his thighs, she had to contain a smile as he moaned from her touch. Standing before him, she looked into his heartbroken eyes as she reached behind her and unzipped her dress. She pushed the shoulders down and allowed the black dress to fall around her ankles. Stepping backwards from the heap, she lifted her feet one at a time and released them from their mission to provide her height and balance. Her fingers fidgeted as she reached behind her and removed her polka dot bra. Allowing the straps to fall, she lowered her arms and the bra fell upon the floor. Her hands made their way to her panties and she lowered them to the floor. When she stood before him once again, she looked into his deep eyes once again. Penelope was bare and in pain before her best friend. She blinked away her onset of tears and allowed the cold in the room to make her tremble.

Derek had never seen an image as beautiful as his Penelope as she stood before him. He wanted to tell her, encourage her, insist upon her that she was what he wanted and needed. He opened his mouth to speak these words when she took a step closer to him, between his thighs, and pressed her lips to his. He gripped her tightly as her warm body came into proximity. Their mouths worked in a natural dance that neither needed to explain or motivate.

Derek laid her down beneath her sheets and placed himself above her. He took her lips in a kiss that was filled with their pain and sadness. This joining was to symbolize their healing and a new beginning. A beginning without Emily Prentiss.

His hands cupped her breasts and she arched her body against him. She clung to him like a lost rabbit, needing to find home in his form. Her kisses were starving and desperate, full of love and heartbreak. He took comfort in her every caress and moan. Derek took deep pride in knowing it was him that caused the flooding of warm moisture between her ivory thighs.

"Now, Derek," she whispered in his ear, her lips and teeth marring his neck and shoulder. "I need you, Derek," she moaned, arching her hips against his steel hard cock.

He reached down and removed his boxers with ease. Bracing himself above her, he reached down and inserted two fingers into her wetness. She moaned in want as his thumb teased her clit, her chest heaving in an attempt to control her breathing.

Satisfied by his results, he removed his hand and braced himself above her. In one quick thrust, he filled her tight heat and he groaned and stiffened in an attempt to gain strength not to lose himself in that moment.

Penelope gasped as he entered her. He was much bigger than she ever dreamed. She lifted her hands and took his lips into a greedy kiss. Her need for him to take away her pain was driving her movements against him.

Instead of rushing their moment, Derek began removing himself from her heat, only to drive into her deeply and slowly once again. With every thrust, Derek was chasing away thoughts of his anger and betrayal from Emily's secrets. He was losing the sight of her bloody and dying body upon the floor. He was chasing away the sounds of Reid's cries as he realized Emily was gone. He was running from the sight of seeing his partner being buried beneath the earth. Penelope's heart and heat were keeping him from being driven insane from the darkness, betrayal and disappointment that had clouded his world for weeks.

As he drove into her, Penelope matched his movements with equal pace. Her movements were keeping her thoughts away from memories of Emily's laughter and beauty. Her grinds were keeping her thoughts from thinking about the tears that fell from her team mates eyes and her anger at the fact that Emily's own parents didn't come to her funeral. Derek's thrusts gave her a mission to be his healing, his comfort. She was comforted by the fact that he was doing this with her instead of a stranger he picked up at a bar to ease his pain.

Her hands moved to his strong arms and shoulders as he thrust himself into her. Making her way down to his muscular ass, she opened her legs wider and pushed him in deeper. Derek groaned in pleasure as she encouraged his new position. Their movements became more frenzied, approaching boundaries of animalistic. As his final thrusts grew deeper, she screamed in release, her inner muscle clenching him within her. He let himself go within her, riding her to his own release and howled her name as he came.

After moments of heavy frantic breathing to bring them back to a calm, he removed himself from inside his Penelope and rolled her her side. Her back was to him as he spooned her tired form. He traced the curves of her glistening body as she embraced the unconscious land of dreams.

When he knew she was asleep, Derek removed his body from her warmth and her bed to begin to dress. While dressing, he looking longingly at her beautiful form. He wanted nothing more than to stay in bed with her, hold her tight as he found comfort in sleep. He knew this was a moment of comfort for the best friends. He couldn't be the man that she needed.

As Derek stood before her completely dressed, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her one last time. One more time to memorize the taste of her lips and feel what it was like to be loved by his Goddess. However, he knew he couldn't be more selfish than he already was. So instead, he back away toward her door and opened it softly. Taking one more glance to her sleeping form, he allowed a tear to fall as he walked away from the comfort of his best friend's love.

Penelope bit her lip down hard to keep her silence as she heard Derek close the door behind him. When she heard his footsteps walk toward his vehicle, she grasped the pillow he rested his head upon within her arms and she cried out loudly. Penelope cried in pain, in loss and in sorrow. No longer was she distracted to keep her mind from Emily's loss or Derek's pain. Now she was alone, spent and broken, to be lost in memories of one of her closest friends.

He couldn't look in the rear view mirror. He knew he left his heart in that apartment just moments before. He was never going to get it back. He couldn't look in the rear view mirror, because if he did, he would return to her loving arms.


End file.
